I warned her not to piss me off... Piss me off, I'll turn you... green? Not really a threat, but fun. I picked up a shift on the schedule that Brooke normally works just so I could work with her - and the bitch went out of town that weekend without telling me! The NERVE.

Next time - I post the "Brooke doing the fish face" picture that I have in reserve. No matter what I post it can't be as bad as this one of me, which I call "Mrs. Bean". Look at the size of that thing...It's got it's own solar system...

I really should do ads for Kleenex, I could make a killing!

Hmmmm...What else can I fill up space with? Oh, I know...
My pets.. note the look on Lexy's face that says " If that cat bolts outta here I'm gonna put a paw print right in Jason's crotch and there's not a damn thing he can do about it!" Upon reviewing the pictures of Jason on my blog I realized that he is laying down in most of them. I have to confess, I killed him a year ago and now I just pull him out of the fridge when I need to get a picture. Weekend at Moose's ...

I met a fellow today that learned the hard way to look both ways before crossing, but I think he's going to be back at work by Monday. Imagine the nerve of this guy, getting hit by a car while he was walking across the street in front of the hospital - I had to run outside carrying the heavy hope that it was my boss, so you understand how disappointed I was when I found out that it was someone that didn't deserve it nearly as much. Is that one of those statements that will eventually have me moving to Utah? For those of you that don't know what I am talking about, get your ass to www.dooce.com. Don't read the rest of this crap, just go now! NOW! You will thank me! Start by clicking at the top right corner where her picture is and you will get hooked, I promise. No, I don't know this woman, but I read her blog everyday ( but then again, SHE posts almost everyday - which is a stab at all you non-posting bitches). I have become so attached to this person that I actually got really excited when she posted the news of her child's first steps, and for those of you that know how I feel about kids - THAT'S A BIG FUCKING DEAL.
Is this creepy yet?

It puts the lotion on it's skin...

So, here are my swans again. They are so easy; they just ARE beautiful with no setup, poses, or even a caption ( so here is a quick thousand or so words to explain that 'no caption' sentiment). They make me feel better every time I see them, even in pictures - which is exactly how I feel about my friends- all of whom are wandering around Wichita Falls completely flash-blinded, bumping into things like the three blind mice.
I'm going to think these birds are beautiful until one of them eventually attacks me and I tie a bow in it's neck. Yeah right ! That thing could freakin kill me if it wanted to, so I'll try to admire from a safe distance. We see them everyday when we run - which, by the way, is going really well.
Well = no cardiac arrest, yet.



I'm starting to think that maybe my friends don't like me bringing my camera everywhere with me... What do you think Josh is trying to say?






Josh, a good friend of Jason's, and is married to my friend Carrie-Anne, who is my running partner and a good friend, and is pictured in a recent blog, and who's Mom lives next to the former residence of Rick and Cindy, who, by the way, just moved to the Metroplex, and none of which know Kevin Bacon - as far as I know. Got it?

Ladies and Gentlemen....I give you classic Jason Scholl (aka Sandy Man-gina).

I worked all weeked and am so ready for a few days off. Work didn't suck too bad last night and, as you can see , I got bored. For those of you who have been lucky enough to have never seen a ventilator, here is a line of them at the ready... I'll call this picture "Waiting to Exhale" or something. Before I got into this job I always thought a ventilator was like you see them in the movies- something like a cross between a bellows and a dryer hose. They are all touch screen now and way smarter than me, but for some reason they trust me to operate them - this picture makes me think of that movie Short Circuit. I hope this is the closest any of you ever need to be to one of these things. Except, of course, Brooke because I want her to work a shift for me this weekend.

Finally, a picture of a huge wad of chesthair standing next to the worlds largest coldsore... oh, no, nevermind... Dr. Caesar "the Czar" Porta and me. He is one of my favorite ER doctors because he doesn't take himself too seriously, and he comes to work prepared for battle. He wears scrubs and tennis shoes while most of the other ER docs wear 'dry cleanables only'. You can tell a lot about a doctor by his threads. Porta's 20 year old daughter is $tudying in Pari$ right now so I think he may be covering a few extra shifts for the other assholes, and that is fine with me. You go Porta-Pottie !!!! I will never use that phrase again, especially in his presence, lest I become a science experiment. He is from Nicaragua - and yeah, I had to look up the correct spelling.


My friend Carrie-Anne and I have started running in the mornings when I get off work and before she goes to class. Our asses (and the rest of us) are out there before the sun comes up and I have really enjoyed it, that is, while the actual running is happening. Then I spend the rest of the day bitching about how bad my legs hurt. Carrie is about a foot taller than I am so I really gotta hoof it to keep up, but I have a great time. I have some memory of having this issue with another Viking that I used to run with, but she was lucky enough to have escaped the vaccum that is this freakin town.

This is my favorite picture that I have taken of Carrie, and trust me, I have taken quite a few. That's the problem with having pretty friends... they are always doing things that make good pictures. I know she is sick of my camera in her face but tough shit... start looking bad and I'll quit taking pictures. I took this picture in my car while we were in Vegas, so I'm sure we were both half drunk when it was taken...


These swans keep us company at Sikes Lake while we run, which helps us keep our minds off how bad running sucks. This fuzzy picture has a certain Loch Ness quality about it, but I assure you I have not faked any of these swans.

A weak attempt to encourage homesickness ...

Danny and the Pub are doing quite well, although he will never admit it. He doesn't want to push his luck o' the Irish, I guess. I bet his liver is as blue as his eyes.
For the record, Abreeva does nothing.















And the homesickness homerun...( or "runs" if you'll entertain a poop joke)

We robbed Target, then went to a movie.
This is the unintentional stolen object list (for the proofreaders out there - the list is intentional, the stealing was not, eat poop) :
- One hot pink, Isaac Mizrahi leather dog collar
- One G-Force, PaperMate Ball point pen, black ink

The flaw in having the customer empty their own cart is that sometimes things accidentally left in the cart. If I was going to smuggle something out on purpose I would have gone for the freaking $15 pillowcases. We figured it out when we got to the car and please take note that we did not return to the store and demand to pay. So what, we are bad people. Lexy likes us, and that's all that matters.
The movie was called Serenity and was neat. Jason really likes it, it was his 2nd time to see it, which should clue you into that it was SCI-FI. I guess the same guy that directs the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series created this story as a show that was run on Fox for half a season or so. Apparently, they only advertised it on the internet- I had never heard of it until my husband, Fattie Mcfatfat, told me about it. Anyway, the movie is pretty good, but if you see it be prepared for a few things.

1. There are no big names in it. I don't recognize one person, but J tells me that they are all the actors from the show.
2. It is a space-ship story, but the dialog is something that I can only call Western/ Japanese, whatever that means. It is kinda like if a Japanese writer was trying to channel John Wayne into the Bladerunner script. If you can get past that, which I am still trying to do, the movie actually works on some level.
3. It has a really cool long shot at the beginning like the kitchen scene from Good Fellas but the actors have about 20 pages of really complicated dorky lines to pull off all in one take, which was at the point where I started hoping for a massive brainstem stroke. But eventually I got used to the way they talk, so we can hold the stroke for the next Star Trek convention that I am forced to attend.
4. We may be seeing the next Hot Guy come out of this movie. The guy that plays the Captian of the Serenity (the ship) is like a really charming Brenden Frazier, but not so dumb looking. I really liked him, and his character was funny.
5. There are no Aliens, Hutts, Wookies, or other creatures (that would in reality make Humans their BITCH, because , really, what are we going to do to stop them?). There are only humans fucking up the Earth and moving on to fuck up other planets. That is one thing that this movie has going for it; it points out that we are our own worst enemy and doesn't brush that off on some race of space bugs.
6. So to recap: Serenity, Not a total waste of time.

Wall-eyed Stanley... Sanity was never an option.

The temperature dropped 40 degrees YESTERDAY. It was 80 and now its 40… and raining. And when it rains, water gets into my phone lines and screws up my fancy dial up connection and kicks me off line. So I guess I better keep this short. Did I mention that I am sick as hell? As we speak I have a Kleenex hanging out of my nose – at least it is only hanging out of one side. I am well known for the “saber-tooth double Kleenex up the nose” look when I have a cold. I’m sure I’ll be better in a few days but I might continue to wear the Kleenex just to keep people from making idle conversation with me in the elevator at work. I’ll spare you the photo today. I just got off work, and its time for bed.

Don't say I didn't warn you ...


1. Anyone that proofreads my blog and openly corrects me shall have her Junior High basketball picture displayed in full page size. Don't think I won't ...
Thanks for the books.

2.Love me, love my imperfections. And my fuzzy a** pictures. I believe that this one sends just the right message.

3. My dog is the cutest, paws down.

4. This shit is Bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.